A Fresh Start

I was sitting on our couch in the large family room. Surrounded by my mother and sisters. We had been gathered together by my father. Who told us he and our mother had news.

News, what kind of news? What kind of news would make for a family gathering?

I was ten years old. My sisters were much older, with my oldest sister about to graduate from high school in a few weeks. We all sat, you could feel the tension in the air. I stared from face to face not knowing exactly what was going on. Wondering what was going to happen?

My father came to sit down with a binder, which was much like him, always prepared. Him and my mother looked at each other smiled nervously and delivered the news.

And what news it was. My sisters all jumped up in an uproar screaming at the top of their lungs. "How could you do this to me!" "I hate you!" "I won't do it!" all three of them ran off balling their eyes out. I'm sure they threw themselves dramatically on their beds planning what they could possibly do to divert this disaster; which in their teenage minds was the end of the world. I sat quietly on the couch.

A move? The word almost seemed strange, foreign. My friend had moved, now me? Was this the end of the world?

We were leaving everything we ever knew. My whole family, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. My sisters were leaving their boyfriends, their friends. And even with all of the people I knew were going to be left behind, I only had one question. Just one that I couldn't wait to ask; that almost burst out of my skin as I sat patiently, waiting.

As my father turned to me and smiled nervously. My question burst forth like water rushing out of a broken damn.

"When do we leave?"

I was overjoyed! I was scared! I was happy! 

What did this mean to me? A fresh start and opportunity to start over with new people. Get out of this small town that I hated so much. Here I was already smeared the freak with one breast. I couldn't wait to go.

My father told me it was going to be in a couple of months. We were moving somewhere I had never been or seen or experienced. I asked him where we would be living and he said he wasn't sure yet. He had gotten us a temporary apartment until we found a house.

I didn't know yet but this move would change my life for the better. It would change everything of who I was. I didn't have to be ashamed. There would be new people that didn't know anything about me. It was like starting over and I could feel almost like I was being wiped clear and a new girl would be written in my place.

A girl that wouldn't be afraid or shy or weak. A girl that would stand up for herself and be wiser with her decisions. A girl that the world should watch out for. And most importantly a girl who would be instilled with confidence and without the fear to be afraid of her own body and her own Poland Syndrome. The move changed me. I changed myself.

Poland Syndrome changed me, defined me. But this time around, this chance. I wouldn't let it defeat me.

Until next time...

You're Perfect just the way you are

No one's as Special as you